In a job interview the other day I was asked "Where do you see yourself in five years?" Of course I should have anticipated that question, but I didn't. And it caught me off guard. So I gave a vague answer and a bit of a different approach--I described how I hoped I would feel in five years. Happy, successful, and have opportunities to learn and experience new things. Then I got to thinking, if a friend or family member had asked me the same question, would I have given the same answer? In the past, I would have given a completely different answer. But now, I would have answered similarly to the way I did in the interview.
Truth be told, this summer I stopped making plans for my future because it only led to incredible disappointment. During my years at the University of Alabama, I met so many wonderful people....one being an incredible guy. We were together for the the last 3 of my 4 years in school and we spent a better part of those years making plans. So when our relationship ended in July, it felt like the future I had imagined came and slapped me in the face. And after my August graduation I was asking myself "What now?" That is when I made the conscious decision to just go with the flow. I realized that if I just tried taking things one day at a time, I wouldn't feel the level of sadness, disappointment, and uncertainty I felt before.
But now I am asking myself, "what does this make me?" Am I a cynic? Am I bitter? Or have I just stepped back into reality? I'm hoping the answer is the latter. I feel like this way I am setting myself up for surprise and contentment rather than disappointment. I can focus on myself and really think about what I want and when I want it.
Trying to live in the now is hard, but I feel like now I have more ambitions than ever before. I stay focused on my goals, and just hope things turn out well. So for now, I'll let someone else take care of the plans and I'll just relax.
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